Sense of Humor
A lot of times, people think that becoming a Christian means giving up fun. So not the case! We laugh; we have fun; we live life to the fullest! The only serious thing about Christians is how seriously we love God & take our salvation. Who says you can't laugh, tell a joke, go out & have fun? The Bible says there is a time to laugh & our mouths will be filed with laughter! Everyone needs a laugh; even God has a sense of humor! Don't believe me, tell Him your plans LOL :-)
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Two Thieves
An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home.
When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they
entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them
to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped
their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling.
For a time, no one said anything.Both the banker and lawyer were touched
and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during
his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given
them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both
remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed,
covetousness, and avaricious behavior that made them squirm in their
seats.
Finally, the banker said, "Preacher, why did you ask us to come?"
The old preacher mustered up his strength and then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go."
The Peace & Love of God
After a very long
and boring sermon the parishoners filed out of the church saying nothing
to the preacher. Towards the end of the line was a thoughtful person
who always commented on the sermons."Pastor, today your sermon reminded
me of the peace and love of God!" The pastor was thrilled. "No-one has
ever said anything like that about my preaching before. Tell me why."
"Well - it reminded me of the Peace of God because it passed all
understanding and the Love of God because it endured forever!"
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
The Grace of God
A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates.
St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."
"Okay" the man says, "I attended church every Sunday"
"That's good, says St. Peter, " that's worth two points"
"Two points?" he says. "Well, I gave 10% of all my earnings to the church"
"Well, let's see," answers Peter, "that's worth another 2 points. Did you do anything else?"
"Two points? Golly. How about this: I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."
"Fantastic, that's certainly worth a point, " he says.
"hmmm...," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart."
"That's wonderful," says St. Peter, "that's worth three points!"
"THREE POINTS!!" the man cries, "At this rate the only way I get into heaven is by the grace of God!"
St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."
"Okay" the man says, "I attended church every Sunday"
"That's good, says St. Peter, " that's worth two points"
"Two points?" he says. "Well, I gave 10% of all my earnings to the church"
"Well, let's see," answers Peter, "that's worth another 2 points. Did you do anything else?"
"Two points? Golly. How about this: I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."
"Fantastic, that's certainly worth a point, " he says.
"hmmm...," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart."
"That's wonderful," says St. Peter, "that's worth three points!"
"THREE POINTS!!" the man cries, "At this rate the only way I get into heaven is by the grace of God!"
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Room 8
A man arrives at the gates of heaven.
St. Peter asks, "Religion?"
The man says, "Methodist."
St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?"
"Baptist."
"Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?"
"Jewish." "Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for
different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?"
St. Peter tells him, "Well the Jehovah's Witnesses are in room 8, and they think they're the only ones here.
St. Peter asks, "Religion?"
The man says, "Methodist."
St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?"
"Baptist."
"Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?"
"Jewish." "Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for
different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?"
St. Peter tells him, "Well the Jehovah's Witnesses are in room 8, and they think they're the only ones here.
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